OUR AMAZING SURVEY

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

Michelle: Scotland

Kellie: here=St Louis

Melanie: I don't even have a first house!

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?

Melanie: My converse

Michelle: You know my weird top with the really flowy sleeves and "it ties up here"

Kellie: Mrs Andrich clothing

3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?

Melanie: The Bravery

Michelle: ...I think the Newsboys

Kellie: Braveheart Soundtrack

Michelle: I wish I had Bo Bice's hair

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?

Melanie: Whenever my little neighbor comes over and knocks on my back door a million times

Michelle: whats morning?

Kellie: 11-12

Melanie: You all stink! I hate you. I'm sending my neighbor to your house for the rest of the summer. I slept till 10 once. Today I woke up with Maddie licking my feet. Why did my mom have to go to Chicago?

5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM VACATION DESTINATION?

Melanie: Narnia

Michelle: Scotland to find a hot guy with red curly hair and green eyes who knows JRR Tolkiens wife maiden name and his library card number

Kellie: Italy and Brazil

Michelle: That's not fair I want to go to Narnia

Melanie: Get your own stupid wardrobe!

Kellie: I have a sneeking suspision that one day I will come to visit you two and you will both be sitting in your wardrobes murmering to yourselves about hapy and a 2500 mummy

Melanie: I want to go to Never Never Land

Michelle: thats cool too

Melanie: Matt and I could become spies. Then I could travel the world.

Kellie: I sitll hate the fridge even if it is a freakin' spy...thing....

Melanie: Peter pan is cool. Black Beauty is not.

Michelle: Peter Pan is hot. Becca thinks so too

Michelle: Black Beauty is gay

6. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?

Melanie: Im going to blow up my kitchen (like Angelia Jolie did) someday

Michelle: microwave...I want my doggie at school because I have to pick up the food off the ground

Kellie: A dishwasher I am, I am, I am; a dishwasher I'll always be, I really hate this stupid job, somebody buy a real one for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Melanie: the electric guitar

Michelle: bagpipes...in scotland with my hot scottish man

Kellie: bass gutair, drums, electric guitar, harp, flute, spoons, fiddle, viola,...

Michelle: pan pipes

Kellie: ...fife, trombone, trumpet

Melanie: You're a homeschooler

Kellie: You're a freakin' genius, I'm glad you finally figured that one out =)

Michelle: These are good for 4 year old cookies

Melanie: I called you a "homeschooler" because homeschool families always play tons of instruments

8. FAVORITE COLOR?

Melanie: white

Michelle: white

Kellie: black

9. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?

Melanie: one that runs and has four wheels works for me

Michelle: blue sports car! convertable!!!!

Kellie:sports car!!! convertable!!!!!

10. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?

Melanie: no I believe we have aliens in our tummy and we have to pay the church of Scientology tons and tons of money to forgive us for our sins so the aliens come out

Michelle: whats the afterlife? does it have something to do with heaven?

Kellie: yeah

11. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?

Melanie: Melanie Mouse's Moving Day

Michelle: The Happy Man and His Dump Truck

Kellie:If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Melanie: lets start a mouse club
Kellie:the mickey mouse club? what?

Melanie: M-i-c-k-e-y- m-o-u-s-e

Michelle: I think there was a mouse in The Happy Man and His Dump Truck. He had a dump truck and took animals for rides in his dump truck.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

Melanie: KELLIE JUST TOLD ME TO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle: When I read that I thought it meant "season of a television show"

Kellie: that would be season five of stargate

Melanie: Sam is cool

Michelle:yeah!

Kellie: I say Daniel!

Michelle: Daniel's a geek though

Kellie: yea, Hot Geek!!!

Michelle: That's true

Melanie: I like Fullhouse and Power Rangers.

Michelle: Buff guys are stupid

Melanie: no one is buff in Full house are they? Danny Tanner looks totally gay!

Michelle and Kellie: Jessies pretty Buff! His hair!

13. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Melanie: I would just buy a gun and blow apart my house like Angelina Jolie(she has weird lips. He so should have stayed with Jennifer. At least she has "good hair")

Michelle: I want like eyes that can zoom in and are x ray and a little bit of telekinesis so I can move cells around. that'd be awesome!

Kellie: I want to be a birdie.

Kellie: Melanie wrote that, she's mean; shut up again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to fly. FLY! With a cape, not feathers!

Michelle: I want to fly too...like a birdie

Melanie: fly like an eagle into the future. Fly like andeagle let my spirit carry me I want to fllllyy like an eagle. WHAT is that song from?????? I think space jam

Michelle: I want to have wings like appendeges with feathers

Kellie: what are appendeges

Melanie:go to college

Michelle: It's actually A-P-P-E-N-D-A-G-E-S

Kellie: HA! You go to college! Wait, no, preschool! Ha

Michelle: Your mom goes to college

Melanie: no she doesnt

14. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?

Michelle: I have a butterfly over my heart

Kellie: I dont think I have a tatoo

Michelle: maybe we should check

Melanie: I dont think we should write that on here

Kellie: lets move on

15. CAN YOU JUGGLE?

Melanie: why are surveys so gay

Michelle: do I look like I have any athletic ability

Kellie: Matt (Wilhelm) is a court jester

16. NAME ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?

Melanie: my cousin Jarrod

Michelle: Mrs McEwen my first grade teacher. She rocked she called me baby doll.

Kellie: there are no people in my past. I am a home schooler.

17. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?

Melanie: boo on surveys

Michelle: March 15 1952

Kellie:days are gay

Melanie: Michelle what is March 15 1952?

Michelle: *laughs* I dont know

18. YOUR DREAM JOB?

Melanie: can I have a lifeline?

Michelle: working for Mr Risch. I had a dream last night that I was driving along the highway and Mr. Risch pulled alongside me in his van a screamed at me and asked if I wanted to work right now.

Kellie: jobs are gay. An English teacher in a foreign country?

19. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?

Melanie: jumper cables used to fix matts truck...and a hello kitty thing to put in my window when it is sunny and a banana

Michelle: I dont have a car but if I did I would call my trunk "the boot"

Kellie: you mean my granny mobile?

20. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?

Melanie: Sushi rocks...I sound like Hannah Lance

Michelle: cookies

Kellie: Ive never had Sushi and hamburgers are boring
Melanie: GO Michelle! Welcome to the dark side!

Michelle: give me cookies!

Melanie: C is for cookie!

Michelle: B is for Bunny...

Kellie: I never watched Sesame Street!!

Melanie: thats not all from Seasame Street! J is for Jason he wants to kill me!

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?

Melanie: daisies or the ones Matt picked for me

Michelle: the pretty purple smelly one in my backyard

Kellie: daises

25. WHAT WOULD YOUR FIRST 3 PURCHASES BE IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?

Melanie: a lama.

Kellie: Mel? Thats all three purchases? You want three lamas?

Melanie: I want a ticket to Boston to give to Matt so he can visit his sisters...and meet the gay guy and his cat. Then again...maybe I dont want my boyfriend to meet a gay guy.

Michelle: Yeah! Hes a little "metro"

Melanie: and so is Eric

Michelle: and I want Scotland

Melanie: You want three Scotlands????

Michelle: and a bunch of swords and what else would I need to conquer England?

Melanie: a lama

Kellie: I want 2 new friends and a car that's not a stinkin' granny mobile...actually, I like Lama's so scratch the 2 new friends and get me a cow and a lama

Melanie: cows are gay

Melanie: and so is Eric

Kellie: Not all of them...cows I mean...

Michelle: Cows are lesbians

Melanie: cow-a-bung-a

Kellie: What?

Melanie: thats what the ninja turtles say!! duh.

Kellie: umm...true, cows are lesbiens, bulls are gay but NOT ALL OF THEM! I"M SO SERIOUS! I KNOW STRAIGHT COWS!!! IT's THE LAMA"S THAT ARE GAY! MELANIE"S LAMA"S ARE GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melanie: Kellie step away from the cocaine!!!! Stop it! I told you its bad for you.

Melanie: hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo

*Everyone dies laughing*

Kellie: I'm very,very creeped out and deffinitely not the only on in this room that's "on somethin'" I'm scared...

Michelle: Hapy is my friend

Melanie: Ill never let go Jack! Ill never let go!

Kellie: This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends; some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because it is the song that never ends....

Michelle: somebody get me a cigarette

Melanie: earlier werent we saying that we feel like we have "actually matured" since the last time we saw each other...

Michelle: Hapy will protect my lungs

All Girl

I was having a conversation with Melanie as we drove back to St. Peters after taking Kellie to meet her Dad. We were talking about how we aren't girly girls, but we can be girly. I wrote this essay last semester for Dr. Legg's class (I love Dr. Legg, and you will too Eric) and it pretty much sums up how I feel about myself and my femininity (or sometime apparant lack thereof). Dr. Legg has all the freshmen in his classes pretend to be a member of the opposite sex for a day and then write a paper about what they learned. He says it amuses him greatly. So this is my paper.

All Girl
I awake to the sound of my alarm going off. Wearily I open my bleary eyes and focus them on the numbers before me: 8:00. I hit the snooze button and close my eyes again. Today I am going to sleep in. When I get up thirty minutes later, I hop in the shower and attempt to cleanse myself as quickly as possible. “This isn’t working.” I think despairingly. “My hair is too long to take a five minute shower.” My day as a boy has begun.
I put on jeans, a t-shirt and my tennis shoes, quickly comb my hair, grab my backpack, and head off too botany class. When I see my friends, I don’t smile and wave as I normally do, I simply nod instead. But my girlish giggling spoils the effect. And so the day goes on, me attempting to do the things I know a boy would do and failing for the pure unchangeable fact that I am, in point of fact, a girl.
There were a few successes. I was able to convincingly pull off a classic guy greeting where the right hands of two parties are smacked together and then quickly pulled apart with the fingers curled. I fearlessly killed a wasp for one of my friends armed with nothing but a can of Lysol. And as time went by I found myself thinking more and more like a guy. I had the strange urge to do push-ups and eat massive amounts of food. My scientific mind began to wonder if my mental mindset was causing my body to produce more testosterone than normal. I felt like myself, but I also felt vaguely different. When I hurt my finger it didn’t seem to hurt as much as it ought to, and I ignored it. Somehow the trace amount of blood encrusted on my nail filled me with an odd sort of pride.
Despite the possible testosterone-induced anomalies, I am not in any doubt about my femininity. It seems that in this day and age stereotypes are what define masculinity and femininity. If you enjoy shopping, looking nice, talking about your feelings then you are feminine. If you enjoy getting dirty, building things and acting tough, then you are masculine. Girls should be concerned with their beauty and boys should be concerned with their brawn. But this isn’t right. This is not true masculinity and femininity. It is no wonder our society is full of people confused about what sex they are. There are men who enjoy “feminine” things and become convinced that they are women trapped in men’s bodies. They don’t know how else to resolve this seeming conflict.
But killing bugs and doing push-ups doesn’t make me masculine, just like giggling and playing with my hair does not make me feminine. It goes so much deeper than that. Being feminine has more to do with the way I think and perceive things than my actions. Yes, it is true that some actions are feminine in nature, but they are a result of the inner femininity. God created woman to be a helper for man. We are detail-oriented and pick up on things men miss. We are created to be companions and are therefore very attuned to the feelings and emotional state of others. We are mothers and caregivers and so feel the need to help others grow. All of these things are generalized statements about women and in individuals some aspects may be stronger than others according to the way that God made us but it still holds true. So though in stereotype I may seem to be more like a boy, in the central core of my personality and character, I am all girl.