Friday, February 18, 2005

Yet another Random Post

Well, I decided that I needed to post something else to stop you people from bashing the Notebook. *sigh* you lot are horrible friends to make fun of me when I was crying.
So, I don't really have anything to talk about. I'm waiting in my room to see if Eric will call me. He supposed to get on campus sometime today, but I don't know when. So I'm waiting. Elisabeth is on my bed making a baby bonnet. I'm not sure why, but she is enjoying herself so that's a good thing. She says she's making it to use up her yarn. Now she's stopped talking 'cause I told her I was going to post whatever she said.
I guess I'll just tell you about her because I haven't done that yet. Elisabeth is Irish. Very Irish. She has curly hair and a temper. I just think she's kinda funny when she get upset. She gets upset when we do math. I'm not sure why that is. She's my lab partner. She was my lab partner for Botany and Chemistry last year and for Zoology and Chemistry this year. She really likes thing that live in water. She worked at the Tennessee Aquarium for the past three years. She got them to put her fish tank in the Botany lab. She's got some rock that was put in a coral reef in there. Now all the sponges, corals and stuff are growing on it. She's also got an Oyster Toad Fish. I call him Ugly. She used to have a really cool eel, but Dr. Barnett killed it. It's an aquarist superstition that if you name a fish it will die. Guess who named the fish and guess what happened. We call Dr. Barnett Fish-namer now.
She's also got a tank in her room. It has some of the same thing in it, but she's got a crab in it that we call Crabzilla. She's also got an upsidedown jellyfish named Squishy (it's ok to name invertebrates by the way). I think that she should get a black sea urchin and name it Shadow Urchin. Then we could write a comic book about Crabzilla vs. Shadow Urchin. We'd make millions. But she's not going for it.
I guess that's a long enough post now. I think I'll work on my scarf that I am knitting.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Bawling I tell you

Alright guys, it's 2 am here and I am still awake. Why you ask? It's because I'm bawling my freakin' eyes out that's why. I just finished watching The Notebook. Most of you know how I generally do not like chick flicks and think that they are stupid and have no basis in reality, but this one... I like.
If you do not cry after watching this movie, you have no heart and should be cast out of society.
Girls: watch this movie and dream 'cause it's never gonna happen.
Guys: watch this movie and take notes 'cause this is what the girls are dreaming of. This is what every girl dreams of. I guarantee it.
The Notebook is about this old woman who has lost most of her memory, and every day her husband comes and reads to her from this notebook. He tells her the story of their lives and their love and tries to get her to remember. There were two scenes we fast forwarded through but it's pretty obvious where those are. They also do not have very great morals all the time... but oh my goodness it's sad. You just have to watch it. You have to. Kami, my new RA, and I bawled for like the last 15 min straight. Ashley was there too but she had read the book and knew what was going to happen.
This movie might not be terribly realistic, but it has some basis in reality. This is the kind of love we are shooting for people. True love. Better than Princess Bride even because this love lasts. They're like 80 yrs. old and he won't leave her and he calls her his sweetheart even though she doesn't remember him at all. It's so sad and beautiful and heartbreaking and sweet. Ok. enough of the movie review. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

No Longer Desiring, But Still Intending

I don't know why, but for some reason God has laid it on my heart to post this essay I wrote. I wrote it for English last semester after we read C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. If anyone has never read that book, read it. If you have read it, read it again. I had already read it before, but when I read it last year there were things that stuck me differently, or things that I had missed. So anyway, I hope this helps some of you.

No Longer Desiring, But Still Intending
The Screwtape Letters is a book written by C.S. Lewis nearly half a century ago, but the subjects are just as relevant, if not more so today. It is a series of chapters written as letters from a senior demon, Screwtape, to his young nephew, Wormwood. These letters give advice about how Wormwood should tempt a human whom Screwtape calls “the patient”. Through this process we are given a glimpse of the spirit world and the battle that is going on every moment for our souls. By using demons as his characters Lewis confronts his readers with startling insights into the various techniques and efforts put forth by demons into separating us from God, Who the demons call “The Enemy”. Many of the ways the demons in the book distract and misdirect the patient bring to mind things that I struggle with myself.
One of the letters I found most valuable dealt with what Screwtape calls the “law of Undulation”(Lewis 36). The law of Undulation is the law that says humans are continually subject to change in all things. Our feelings, our moods and our spiritual life are in a constant state of fluctuation. Like a wave, our lives are a continuous series of peaks and troughs.
The application of the law of Undulation that Screwtape particularly addresses is the relationship between God and man. There are times when I feel so close to God, when I seem to understand so clearly His will. Feelings of elation and intimacy with God fill my soul and I spend my days trying to please Him and learn more about Him. This is a peak. Then there are times like the one I am going through now. I feel as though I am in a thick fog. I know God is there and I catch glimpses of Him and sometimes faintly hear His voice, but try as I may, I cannot find Him. I cry out to Him to sweep me up into His arms again, but He doesn’t. I can’t understand, and I don’t know what I should do. This is a trough.
As I read the eighth letter of The Screwtape Letters I began to see what it is that God is after. Screwtape says, “Now it may surprise you to learn that in His [God’s] efforts to get permanent possession of the soul, He relies on troughs even more than on the peaks…” (Lewis 37). Screwtape goes on to explain how because God loves and values the freedom that He has given us, He sometimes removes His presence from us. God wants us to become like Him and follow Him of our own volition, not because He forces us, but because we truly want to.
“He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.” (Lewis 39)
Reading these words I felt elation once again. My feeling of distance from God was not outside of His plan, but was a natural occurrence in the process of growing closer to Him. This time is an opportunity to show true devotion and love. I can accomplish more in this time than in any other and I am now resolved to do so. This resolution is reinforced by one of the final statements in the letter, “Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.” (Lewis 39)

Works Cited
Lewis, C.S. The Screwtape Letters. Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc. New York, 1976